Three Years Later - What I would tell my eighteen year old self.


 Throwback to the 10th October 2017, the day I took a pregnancy stick unaware that two lines would appear. The day that would change my life forever and the day I realised I was going to be someone's mummy at only eighteen/nineteen years old. 

Three years later a lot has changed, I have learnt a lot about people, parenting and life in general so I thought why not compile it into a post that may help someone who may find themselves in the position I was in three years prior.

 

When you become a parent, not only do you meet a brand new person in the child you have birthed but you will also meet a whole new version of yourself - This for me took a long time to adjust too. Before having children you are rightfully selfish and once you have a child that soon changes. Simple things like just popping for a shower to wash your hair can feel like a mammoth task whereas before it was a simple task. It took me ages to find the 'new/old me' after having Maci and truthfully I don't think I have fully found her yet and I am writing this three years after finding out I was pregnant. It takes time, don't be so hard on yourself.



 You will realise who your true friends are - When you are pregnant and have a baby it will become apparent who your 'true friends' are. This was another one that I found hard to adjust too. Friends who you think will always be there for you and who say that they can't wait to be an 'auntie'/'uncle' will soon vanish. Now this can't be said for all of them, a select few will stay around and support you throughout this tough time and will love your child like their own and of course you will meet other parents along the way which you will call your friends so don't be too disheartened. People change and that's ok

 

Your idea of the 'perfect family' may change - Now for me when I found out I was pregnant I was so excited to raise Maci with someone and to share the experience becoming parents, but sometimes things don't always go to plan and individuals don't turn out to be who you once thought they were and that's okay. This for me is one of the biggest lessons I have had to learn. Sometimes people's intentions are completely wrong and they simply don't want the same thing as you. This does not degrade you as a person or as a mother as long as you do all you can every day for your daughter. Although if you do find yourself in a dramatically different situation than what you once thought, don't forget that it is perfectly normal to 'grieve' what you thought you initially wanted. There is absolutely no shame in being a single parent. Now if someone asks me what my idea of the 'perfect family' is I simply say, 'whatever you are content with'. For me, three years later, that is myself, Maci and Peggy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 Things that seem like a big issue right now, won't be in years time - Now I think this stands for most things throughout life but I think we sometimes forget it. It is so easy to get consumed by things that seem like a massive issue in the now but you have to ask yourself, will it matter it in a year or two? You don't want to spend your time being consumed by worries, especially when you're a new parent who is trying to find their feet in your new role. Take each day as it comes... 

 Finally, I would like to say to my 2017 self that things will be tough over the next few years. You will have days where it will seem impossible but trust me, things will fall into place. You will survive the Hyperemesis Gravidarum, you will give birth to a beautiful girl who will become your best friend, you will get help to cope with the traumatic birth, relationships will break down but you will flourish from the crappy situation, you will move into a beautiful home and you will continue to raise Maci by yourself and you should be so incredibly proud of yourself and the little girl that you helping to grow every day. 

Until next time,  

Storm

 Instagram 

Having some 'self care' time! - AD Trenza Braidbar Southampton

 Hello,

For those of you who are parents you will know how tough it is to get some very important 'self care' time. Recently I was invited along to Trenza Braidbar in West Quay, Southampton and safe to say I jumped at the chance to actually be able to sit down for a while, child free and have my hair transformed into an amazing creation. I certainly was not disappointed. 

It is important to note that Trenza Braidbar do not just do 'crazy and colourful' creations but they do also do natural braids but for me, I wanted to try something a bit out of my comfort zone hence the vibrant masterpiece that Nicole created for me. Trenza also have a mother and daughter package for those of you who have older little ones who would enjoy having their hair braided.


You can find Trenza Braidbar near the Apple Store in West Quay, Southampton.

So next time you have some spare time, why not book in with Trenza Braidbar. It is truly incredibly how confident I felt whilst having my hair in this bubble braid, I instantly wanted to have a photoshoot!


Massive thank you to the lovely ladies at Trenza for making me feel so comfortable and allowing me some much needed 'me time'.

Until next time,

Storm

Instagram



My Story - Birth Trauma

 What is Birth Trauma?

'Birth trauma is a shorthand phrase for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after childbirth. We also use it for women who have some symptoms of PTSD, but not enough for a full diagnosis. In most cases, what makes birth traumatic is the fear that you or your baby are going to die. We very often see birth trauma in women who have lost a lot of blood, for example, or who had to have an emergency caesarean because their baby’s heart rate suddenly dipped'Birth Trauma Association

Now this is a topic that I have touched on many times on my Instagram but a topic I have not talked through in depth as such, simply because I could not find the words and I could not figure out how to write it down with any sort of structure, so I do apologise in advance if this post some what jumps from point to point.

If you're new here you will not be aware that on the 13th june 2018 I gave birth to my daughter, Maci. Who weighed 8lbs 11oz a week before her due date. I struggled with Hyperemesis Gravidarum throughout my pregnancy which resulted in me not being able to work and most days barely leave my flat at the time, it was extremely isolating and a terrible time.The condition itself definitely left a permanent fear of being sick and feeling nauseous. I was so excited to give birth, as any expectant mother I had dreamt about what would happen and that amazing moment I would be able to hold my beautiful baby for the first time. Never did it cross my mind that I would have a very long labour, resulting in 1500+ ml blood loss, episiotomy and a forceps delivery. I have a whole post about my birth story so please take a look if you would like to know about it in more in depth. 


You're probably wondering why I have only chosen to speak about my ordeal now, well the lovely Jodetopia contacted me and asked if I would like to take part in a collaborative post all about Birth trauma and forwarded me some questions (below) which of course I willingly answered because it is so important that this topic is spoken about more widely. 

How long ago was the birth in which resulted your birth trauma?

26 months ago, 13th June 2018.

Did you seek, or were you offered, help for your birth trauma? If so, would you be willing to explain a little bit about the help that you have received?

I was not offered any help initially despite the traumatic birth that I had and only being a teen mum. I can’t remember who mentioned it to me (possibly saw it on social media) that my local hospital offered a service called ‘birth afterthoughts which was a service in which you could ask for a nurse/doctor to sit down with you and go through your labour and delivery notes with you. Now this is definitely an appointment that took a lot of thought about attending, it was very triggering and emotional although I came out of the appointment understanding why things happened a little bit more and feeling a bit less ‘robbed’ of the experience of giving birth.

Would you consider yourself ‘recovered’ from your birth trauma?

No, I don’t think I will ever ‘recover’ from the ordeal. I find myself talking about it less nowadays just because I don’t think it is healthy to keep reminding myself of the events but this does not mean I block it out completely because I feel like that is even more damaging. It has definitely impacted by decision about having more children though If I was to ever meet someone again.

If you answered no, do you think it will ever be possible for you to be ‘recovered’ from your birth trauma? What would ‘recovery’ look like for you? (see above)

Do you think that your birth trauma has affected your relationship with your child?

It definitely did in the new-born days, I was not able to be the first person to dress her, feed her or even hold her. Even to this day I do not know what her first ever outfit was and that does upset me. I had to have blood transfusions meaning I felt ‘drunk’ as such for the first couple of months of my daughter’s life, it was a very strange time and I would not wish it upon anyone. I remember every time I spoke about the birth I would always get the reply 'Oh well atleast Maci is ok' which of course was true but I couldn't help but feel ignored despite what I had experienced a short time before. Regardless of the traumatic birth Maci is now two years old and we could not be closer, so if you are reading this and you’ve got a new-born, please do not be worried about the amazing bond you will have with them in the future.

Any advice for other mums out there still struggling with their birth trauma?

The first time I realised something was truly ‘wrong’ was when I watched a video by Louise Pentland on YouTube where in which she spoke about birth trauma and every single point she mentioned brought me to tears. It was a relief that I wasn’t alone and that there was not something wrong with me that I felt this way. I personally struggled finding much online content about the subject which is why I am taking part in this project to help raise awareness and hopefully start a conversation. And finally do not feel guilty, it is nothing you did that resulted in a traumatic birth. I remember thinking that maybe if i did 'x y and z' that it may of of resulted in the induction which then caused everything to happen so quick.

Anything else you'd like to add?

I would like to add that you are not alone, birth trauma is more common than we think but for some reason it isn’t spoken about. It is not something to feel guilty about or ashamed of. We all go into pregnancy and birth with this ‘perfect’ idea of what it is, although very rarely this happens. I think it is very wrong that midwives and other maternity staff do not prepare women for what may happen, despite how scary it may be, it is the reality of childbirth and I believe that it would have been a lot more beneficial to me (being only 19 at the time) to of had the various outcomes explained to me before I was signing a consent form about to be operated on.

This truly is a subject that I could speak about for a long time but I would like to say that my direct messages/emails are always open for anyone who thinks that birth trauma may be affecting them.

Helpful links -

 Birth Trauma Association

Birth Trauma and Post Natal PTSD

Louise' Video


Until next time,

Storm

Instagram


Two Whole Years Of Maci

Hello,

It seems like only yesterday I was sat writing my pregnancy announcement and now I am creating this post to celebrate the fact that Maci turned two last week and I'm not quite sure how that has happened. I now have a two year old, Maci is no longer classed as a 'baby' but she will always be my little 8lbs 11oz baby Maci. 


I could never of imagined what would of happened in two years since Maci was born, we have moved house twice and we are now hopefully in our 'forever home', relationships broke down and life got somewhat complicated but despite all of this Maci has thrived as a little girl and is the most caring and entertaining soul. I certainly did not bring Maci into this world planning to be a single mum for her first and second birthdays but life always finds a way to throw a curveball at you and this was ours, I am lucky enough that Maci is not aware of the situation but I certainly am and it has helped me become a stronger and more independent person and for that I am thankful. 


Maci's birthday's are always an emotional day as is any child's birthday but Maci's especially because I always remember the absolute hell I went through to bring her into this world and quite honestly how lucky I am to be able to celebrate her birthdays with her. I won't go into depth about my whole birth 
story but you can read the post here - My Labor and Delivery Story


Maci had a lovely birthday despite having to maintain Lockdown conditions due to Coronavirus, we spent the day in the garden with our dearest family and friends, opening presents and enjoying eachothers company from a distance. Maci's birthday cake was from Patty Cakes UK, the cake topper and unicorn confetti was from Wildoneandi (AD) and last but no means least the incredible balloon garland and '2' was from Luxe List



Here's to another year of adventures from Maci and I.

Until next time,
Storm


AD - Fathers Day with Funky Pigeon

Hello,

With Fathers day fastly approaching it can be a tough and emotional day for some families although Funky Pigeon cater for every type of family type which I really like and appreciate. I have kindly been gifted a couple of lovely gifts from their Fathers Day range. These gifts are from Maci to my dad, her grandad. 


This key ring is a super affordable gift, the quality is excellent. You can easily upload an image from your device and edit the placement until you're happy! 


The second item  I chose was this customised cushion, im one of those people who always think you can't have enough cushions. The cushion once again feels of very good quality material and the image isn't pixalated at all. Overall, I am very happy with these two items and I am excited to see my dads face when we give them to him on Fathers Day.

Funky Pigeon also have a wide range of other gifts available for Fathers Day such as; 


Customisable Balloons and much more! There really is a gift for everyone.



This post contains gifted items with obligation to post. All opinions are those of Storms Blog.

Until next time,
Storm



Two Year Old Gift Ideas

Hello,
 
Maci turns two next month and I have found that it is a fairly hard age to shop for. I have decided to compile a list of a few online that I have found that I feel would be perfect for a two year old. All children are different so this list may not be perfect for all but here are a few ideas. 





'My First Playhouse is perfect for imaginative play. Kids will love having a place to call their own, whether in the garden or in the playroom.'



'The Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Car is an instantly recognisable classic. For 30 years, this child-powered ride on has been loved by kids and parents alike.'


'Let your creative imagination go wild with the new Super Rainbow Deluxe. Simply fill the Aquadoodle pen with ordinary tap water, run the nib over the magic mat and see the colours appear!'




'Let your little one live in effortless style! With modern windows, arched doors and brick details, this is one of our more contemporary playhouses for kids. With two working doors and windows with shutters, as well as details including a letter box and flag holder, little ones will have a whale of a time playing ‘house’. It might only be small in design, but this characterful cottage packs in a lot of fun!'



'The My Little World 2pc bedding set in Llama Pink will make an elegant addition to your precious little ones nursery.'

 

'Offering a sweet choice for their summer sandal collection, Igor deliver this adventure-ready jelly shoe. The kids' Star sandal is crafted with a pink man-made upper in a strappy basket design while an easy fasten ankle strap allows independent wear.'



'My Mud Kitchen promoted creativity, role-play and imagination - where play is limitless. Outdoor learning through play is strongly encouraged to help with children's growth, confidence and development.



Help your child learn to spell their name with our Personalised ‘My name is...’ Spelling Mat.

Letters attach to the mat with Velcro which means no loose or missing parts and your child can practise over and over again until they learn to spell their name.'

I hope this post may of given you some ideas on what to buy a two-year-old. 

Until next time,

Storm

Instagram

A Whole Year Of Single Parenting

Hello,

I can't decide If this year has gone quickly or slowly but either way, here I am to share with you the realities of the last 365 days (give or take a few) of single parenting. 


A majority of single parents never think that they will end up in this situation and I certainly didn't. I definitely did not have a baby with the intention to become a single parent at the age of twenty. Overnight my seemingly 'perfect' family had vanished and my life was quite honestly a mess and I had to work out how to salvage it. The whole thought of being a single mum at such a young age was quite honestly terrifying, I didn't know much about 'adult' life and I had to work it all out as we went along and it has definitely had it's moments but a year later I think i've got it almost all worked out.


I have learnt a lot the past year, I've learnt that I am a lot stronger mentally than I would've ever thought. I've managed to build Maci and I a new life together and I now realise that this is where we were suppose to be, as crazy as that may sound. We are in a brand new house that we moved into last August and we both absolutely love it. Obviously moving into a house at only twenty years old with a toddler in tow was not easy and working out all the bills and other aspects that come along with having a house was a learning curve but it was worth all the stress.


The last year has had its tough moments, ones where i've doubted myself as a parent and myself as a person but it is normal to grieve 'the family unit' that I thought I had and once I accepted that, it has been much easier to move on and continue with mine and Maci's lives. I wouldn't of been able to get through this past year if it wasn't for my wonderful friends, family and my incredible boyfriend who's been my absolute rock the last few months. 


Everyone's single parenting journey is different whether that be because it was a mutual separation, multiple children, ages of children etc there are so any other reasons but all you have to remember is that as a parent you have to do what's right for your child/ren. Sometimes that can be a lot harder than said but there's always a way. 

So, what's my advice for a newly single parent? 

Take each day as it comes - Some days you will feel on top of the world and some days you may struggle to get out of bed. It is likely that this isn't your fault and you should not feel guilty for no longer being in that relationship, as long as you've done what's best for you and your child/ren then you should be so incredibly proud of yourself and hold your head high.


It is okay to NOT tell your side of the story - This for me has been one of the hardest parts of the whole situation but I have learnt that eventually the truth will always come out and even if it doesn't I can go to sleep at night knowing that I am a good person and that is all I have to be concerned about. I can only control my own actions, I can't change anyone else's actions or morals. This advice has certainly been one of the biggest points that has helped me move on with my life.

Do not be too proud to accept help -  It is okay to take help from friends, family and even strangers. There are plenty of support groups online for single parents and they have helped me an immense amount. It is so reassuring to know that you are not alone in the situation that you have found yourself in. 


Take some time for you - It is so easy to get wrapped up in being a parent and a homeowner that you don't take any time out of your day/week to simply look after yourself. 'Looking after yourself' can be anything from having a relaxing bath to watching your favourite show on telly. A few months ago I really struggled with this point but now I make sure that I do this atleast a few times a week and it has certainly improved my patience and all around mental health. 

And finally, I am proud of you - This is a path nobody ever wants to go down but as someone who has done it for a year let me reassure you that it does get easier. It may not seem it right now as you're reading this but it truly does and it will be worth it.

My inbox is always open, don't be shy.

Until next time,

Storm 

AD - Let's talk body positivity!

Hello,

Now I never thought I would be someone who would be writing a post about body positivity but ay, how times change.

 Before having Maci I was always quite self conscious, I would wear baggy tops because I didn't like how my tummy looked and this was before I had Maci so as you can imagine pregnancy shocked me slightly. I remember after I had Maci simply crying because of how my tummy looked, my stretch marks were bright red and I couldn't ever imagine myself feeling confident in anyway ever again. Time is a great healer... 


Fast forward to now and I couldn't feel happier in my own skin. Don't get me wrong, everyone has 'off' days, even me. My tummy isn't bright red with stretch marks anymore, they're still very much there but no longer 'angry' looking. I wear crop tops and don't panic about people looking at me... because let's face it, people have more important things to worry about in their own lives without being concerned at a bit of tummy being on show.


I have just accepted the fact that I grew a little human for nine months, went through a horrendous labour, birthed an 8lbs 11oz baby and now entertain a hyper toddler 24/7 so I am entitled to ice cream and treats and I am no longer concerned about any 'wobbly' bits that I have.


I have kindly been gifted some lovely items from Pour Moi and I have decided to include them in this post because the underwear set does amazing things for my confidence! If you are someone who struggles with self confidence and body positivity definitely do some underwear shopping,  I know it is probably the last thing you want to do but honestly, you'll see how incredible you look! I highly recommend Pour Moi, their packaging is beautiful and the quality of their underwear is impeccable. 

You can shop this set here 

Until next time,
Storm

Ad - Who knew a canvas could make you so happy?!

Hello,

As most of you know last August myself and Maci moved into our house and we really didn't have a lot of things to fill it with really. Gradually I have been filling it with items I absolutely love, so when Photowall asked if I would like to work together and of course I jumped at it. I decided to get one of the images from my Mothers Day shoot on a large canvas to go above my sofa which is a space i've been wanting to fill for ages now.


The photo was part of my Mothers Day shoot with a few weeks back. I really couldn't be happier with how this canvas looks in my lounge, it really does just complete the room and it makes me smile every time I look at it. I was slightly worried that because it is a large canvas that the quality of the image may become distorted but it hasn't at all. 


They've kindly given you all 25% off of their site all you have to do is enter the code 'stormrose25' at checkout - https://www.photowall.co.uk/

If you purchase a canvas/print or wallpaper I would love to see what you choose over on Instagram!

This is an ad/sponsored post but all opinions are those of Storms Blog.

Until next time,
Storm




Mother's Day Photoshoot - Ad/Gifted

Hello,

This post was suppose to go live a while ago now but if you follow me on my socials you will know that myself and Maci have been quite poorly and quite honestly blogging was the last thing on my mind. We are much better now so lets get back to it!

Mother's day is a big day, it is an important day for many women across the world and of course that comes with many strong emotions. Mothers day this year was my first one since becoming a single parent and despite the fact I am incredibly proud of what I have achieved in in the past year and how far I have come, I knew it was going to come with some strong heartfelt feelings because of this. 


I knew I wanted to remember Mother's Day 2020 with some beautiful photos and I requested for local photographers to contact me and the wonderful Heather Lerryn got in touch with me and I knew the outcome would be incredible. Heather was extremely helpful in planning the shoot, putting together mine and Maci's outfits and flexible when it came to the ever changing weather (Good old UK, huh)

Outfit Links -


The whole point of this post is that you should plan a shoot with a local photographer, you don't have to feel as so you're 'photogenic' or even enjoy having your photo taken but the memories you will capture last a lifetime and are truly magical. Im aware these shoots are fairly expensive but some photographers allow you to pay them off gradually before the shoot so it is always worth checking.


So with all that being said, I would like to share with you these beautiful images that Heather Lerryn Photography captured for Mother's Day 2020.



 I am so incredibly happy with these photos and I will certainly treasure them forever. The whole experience was very laid back and enjoyable. Massive thank you to https://www.heatherlerrynphotography.com/ for gifting me this shoot.

 I hope this has inspired you to either head out and take some photos yourself or contact a local photographer and plan a family shoot!

Until next time,
Storm

My 'Lockdown' Skincare/Hair Favourites!

Hello!

Due to the lockdown caused by Coronavirus the country has been forced to stay at home and with every bad situation comes a silver lining, such as I have rediscovered some of my favourite (but forgotten about) Skincare and Hair Favourites. Also being a mum means that I rarely have time for face masks and other 'time consuming' routines, I need products that are quick, easy and effective. 

These products are in no particular order - 

My only Hair product comes from 'Aussie' and it's 'Miracle Moist' Shampoo and Conditioner. Since having Maci I have really struggled with dry skin and a dry scalp so I have found myself reaching for more moisturising products. Despite these products being on the slightly 'expensive' side I find that these two bottles will last me around a month and I wash my hair every two days. 


Next up is 'Garnier's Micellar Cleansing Gel Wash - This product is one that I never use to like, I use to find it would leave my skin not feeling clean but I have been using it for the past week and I have to admit I am really enjoying its consistency and formula this time around. It would not 'budge' heavy makeup I feel although for an every day cleanse it is perfect and easy to use.


If you're like me then you will thoroughly enjoy a good exfoliator and this is where this next product comes in. Dove's Exfoliating Body Scrub with Pomegranate Seeds and Shea Butter is the perfect body exfoliator. Not only does it smell incredible but the texture and density is consummate. This exfoliator is similar to the other products due to the fact it is long lasting so you definitely get your pennies worth. (Shown in top right of image above)

 

Due to the fact we're all staying at home at present it is important now more than ever that we are looking after ourselves and our skin. This product is so easy to use and super effective. The 'Garnier Skin Active 3in1 Botanical Hydrating Balm' it is a day/night mask and leaves your skin feeling rejuvenated and replenished and not forgetting smelling like rose water.


I recently discovered Superdrugs own brand and I have been pleasantly surprised by it. I picked up the 'Superdrug Naturally Radiant 2in1 Moisturiser and Serum' and It has been a staple product in my makeup bag for about a month now. It hasn't got much of a scent too it which I know some people prefer but it leaves my skin feeling really moisturised which is great especially at the moment. 

The other product shown in the image above is the 'Nuxe Sensitive Skin Micellar Cleansing Water' which is a brilliant alternative if you are not a fan of the 'gel' consistency of the Garnier product. Once again this product has a fairly strong scent of Rose petals and leaves your skin feeling cleansed after a hard day sitting in the lounge during lockdown.

I hope you have enjoyed this blog post, let me know if you have ever tried any of these products by following the links to my socials below.

Until next time,
Storm

Introducing 'Little Beaulieu' - AD/Press Launch

Hello!

The other day we were kindly invited to the launch of 'Little Beaulieu' which is a brand new adventure play area within the grounds of Beaulieu. The enormous structure has cost £0.5m and it based upon the heritage of Lord Montagu's ancestral home of Palace House and Beaulieu Abbey. 


You could easily spend all day just within the area of 'Little Beaulieu' as there is now a covered seating area for picnics from the small cafe which you can grab a tasty slice of cake from and a cup of tea. There are also clean toilets also within the proximity of 'Little Beaulieu' meaning you no longer have to worry about getting to the museum or the cafe for the toilets which is brilliant especially for little ones and pregnant ladies or quite frankly those of us who have had children!


There is a also a special zone of the park which features smaller wooden frames to play on, a large sandpit with buckets, spades and other toys provided. Little ones can then jump on the wooden play bus, modelled on Beaulieu's Veteran Bus at one of the south's leading visitor attractions. The bus was definitely one of Maci's favorite parts of the whole attraction.


Within 'Little Beaulieu' there is a 'play garage' that has a car that the children can sit in and pretend to fix using the wooden tools provided on the workbench to the side. There is even an old fashioned petrol pump so the children can fill the car up with 'fuel'. Every aspect of this play area has been thought of to use imaginations and its incredible. 


We immensely enjoyed out time at Beaulieu and we are so grateful for the invite to this wonderful launch. This definitely is a day out that would be considered a 'treat' but what a great one it really is. I really like the fact that everything you need is so close to the play area, such as toilets and the cafe meaning you do not need to leave the play area at any time if you do not wish too.


'Little Beaulieu' will be included in a ticket price to Beaulieu from March 15th. A ticket also includes entry to the National Motor Museum which tells the story of motoring with its collection of over 280 historic vehicles, the World Of Top Gear, On Screen Cars, Palace House, Secret Army  Exhibition, Beaulieu Abbey and its gardens and grounds. To book visit - Book Tickets


This post was a gifted opportunity with no obligation to post. All opinions are those of Storms Blog.

Until next time,
Storm