A Whole Year Of Single Parenting


I can't decide If this year has gone quickly or slowly but either way, here I am to share with you the realities of the last 365 days (give or take a few) of single parenting. 

A majority of single parents never think that they will end up in this situation and I certainly didn't. I definitely did not have a baby with the intention to become a single parent at the age of twenty. Overnight my seemingly 'perfect' family had vanished and my life was quite honestly a mess and I had to work out how to salvage it. The whole thought of being a single mum at such a young age was quite honestly terrifying, I didn't know much about 'adult' life and I had to work it all out as we went along and it has definitely had it's moments but a year later I think i've got it almost all worked out.

I have learnt a lot the past year, I've learnt that I am a lot stronger mentally than I would've ever thought. I've managed to build Maci and I a new life together and I now realise that this is where we were suppose to be, as crazy as that may sound. We are in a brand new house that we moved into last August and we both absolutely love it. Obviously moving into a house at only twenty years old with a toddler in tow was not easy and working out all the bills and other aspects that come along with having a house was a learning curve but it was worth all the stress.

The last year has had its tough moments, ones where i've doubted myself as a parent and myself as a person but it is normal to grieve 'the family unit' that I thought I had and once I accepted that, it has been much easier to move on and continue with mine and Maci's lives. I wouldn't of been able to get through this past year if it wasn't for my wonderful friends, family and my incredible boyfriend who's been my absolute rock the last few months. 

Everyone's single parenting journey is different whether that be because it was a mutual separation, multiple children, ages of children etc there are so any other reasons but all you have to remember is that as a parent you have to do what's right for your child/ren. Sometimes that can be a lot harder than said but there's always a way. 

So, what's my advice for a newly single parent? 

Take each day as it comes - Some days you will feel on top of the world and some days you may struggle to get out of bed. It is likely that this isn't your fault and you should not feel guilty for no longer being in that relationship, as long as you've done what's best for you and your child/ren then you should be so incredibly proud of yourself and hold your head high.

It is okay to NOT tell your side of the story - This for me has been one of the hardest parts of the whole situation but I have learnt that eventually the truth will always come out and even if it doesn't I can go to sleep at night knowing that I am a good person and that is all I have to be concerned about. I can only control my own actions, I can't change anyone else's actions or morals. This advice has certainly been one of the biggest points that has helped me move on with my life.

Do not be too proud to accept help -  It is okay to take help from friends, family and even strangers. There are plenty of support groups online for single parents and they have helped me an immense amount. It is so reassuring to know that you are not alone in the situation that you have found yourself in. 

Take some time for you - It is so easy to get wrapped up in being a parent and a homeowner that you don't take any time out of your day/week to simply look after yourself. 'Looking after yourself' can be anything from having a relaxing bath to watching your favourite show on telly. A few months ago I really struggled with this point but now I make sure that I do this atleast a few times a week and it has certainly improved my patience and all around mental health. 

And finally, I am proud of you - This is a path nobody ever wants to go down but as someone who has done it for a year let me reassure you that it does get easier. It may not seem it right now as you're reading this but it truly does and it will be worth it.

My inbox is always open, don't be shy.

Until next time,