Three Years Later - What I would tell my eighteen year old self.

 Throwback to the 10th October 2017, the day I took a pregnancy stick unaware that two lines would appear. The day that would change my life forever and the day I realised I was going to be someone's mummy at only eighteen/nineteen years old. 

Three years later a lot has changed, I have learnt a lot about people, parenting and life in general so I thought why not compile it into a post that may help someone who may find themselves in the position I was in three years prior.


When you become a parent, not only do you meet a brand new person in the child you have birthed but you will also meet a whole new version of yourself - This for me took a long time to adjust too. Before having children you are rightfully selfish and once you have a child that soon changes. Simple things like just popping for a shower to wash your hair can feel like a mammoth task whereas before it was a simple task. It took me ages to find the 'new/old me' after having Maci and truthfully I don't think I have fully found her yet and I am writing this three years after finding out I was pregnant. It takes time, don't be so hard on yourself.

 You will realise who your true friends are - When you are pregnant and have a baby it will become apparent who your 'true friends' are. This was another one that I found hard to adjust too. Friends who you think will always be there for you and who say that they can't wait to be an 'auntie'/'uncle' will soon vanish. Now this can't be said for all of them, a select few will stay around and support you throughout this tough time and will love your child like their own and of course you will meet other parents along the way which you will call your friends so don't be too disheartened. People change and that's ok


Your idea of the 'perfect family' may change - Now for me when I found out I was pregnant I was so excited to raise Maci with someone and to share the experience becoming parents, but sometimes things don't always go to plan and individuals don't turn out to be who you once thought they were and that's okay. This for me is one of the biggest lessons I have had to learn. Sometimes people's intentions are completely wrong and they simply don't want the same thing as you. This does not degrade you as a person or as a mother as long as you do all you can every day for your daughter. Although if you do find yourself in a dramatically different situation than what you once thought, don't forget that it is perfectly normal to 'grieve' what you thought you initially wanted. There is absolutely no shame in being a single parent. Now if someone asks me what my idea of the 'perfect family' is I simply say, 'whatever you are content with'. For me, three years later, that is myself, Maci and Peggy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 Things that seem like a big issue right now, won't be in years time - Now I think this stands for most things throughout life but I think we sometimes forget it. It is so easy to get consumed by things that seem like a massive issue in the now but you have to ask yourself, will it matter it in a year or two? You don't want to spend your time being consumed by worries, especially when you're a new parent who is trying to find their feet in your new role. Take each day as it comes... 

 Finally, I would like to say to my 2017 self that things will be tough over the next few years. You will have days where it will seem impossible but trust me, things will fall into place. You will survive the Hyperemesis Gravidarum, you will give birth to a beautiful girl who will become your best friend, you will get help to cope with the traumatic birth, relationships will break down but you will flourish from the crappy situation, you will move into a beautiful home and you will continue to raise Maci by yourself and you should be so incredibly proud of yourself and the little girl that you helping to grow every day. 

Until next time,